By Cordula Frei
Through writing my latest german book Wild&Wunderbar , two profound shifts awakened within me. First: I was reclaimed by the writer’s heart and the storyteller’s craft — by the deep narrative voice I had learned, perhaps early on, to silence. In giving space to story, metaphor and deeper memory than the everyday spaces of my brain, I began re-enlivening my capacity to see, to feel, to shape with words. And second: in remembering ritual, in weaving ancient practices back into my daily life, I activated parts of my brain that evolution and culture have long abandoned — the neural pathways for rhythm, belonging, ancestral memory. These two—story and ritual—together have changed my life fully and enormously.
What modern medicine is just beginning to understand, the wise women of old cultures have always known: that healing does not occur through control, but through connection. That a strengthened vagus nerve does not grow through performance, but through rituals, tenderness, through rediscovering a natural rhythm. And that pains lodged in tissue arise not only from trauma, but from the loss of meaning, of connection and memory.
There is a deep longing that many women in midlife know, yet rarely name: the longing to be seen. Not for what we accomplish, nor for what we present, but for who we are. For decades, we have earned recognition through good grades, through diligence, through conformity, through beauty, through motherhood, through leadership, through care. And yet, beneath all these layers, lies a quiet question: Do you see me? Do you see me when I achieve nothing? When I am not performing? When I simply exist? Validation is the affirmation of our intrinsic worth—and it is not a luxury, but a primal need.
And yet, or perhaps precisely because of this, it has been trained out of us. We have learned to confirm ourselves by meeting expectations. We have earned value, and instead of feeling, we have learned how to deserve love rather than simply feel it. For women in midlife, this is a turning point. It is the time when the old strategies begin to crumble. The beauty that once commanded attention is no longer the currency it once was. Children take their own paths. The career that was the focus of so many years suddenly reveals its shadow sides. And partnership—if it still exists—requires more than organization and compromise to remain alive.
Now, something entirely different is needed instead of self-optimization and more to-do lists: the deep, radical acceptance of one’s own worth—independent of achievement, role, status, or age. Validation means acknowledging oneself without needing to prove anything. It means giving oneself the words we may have waited a lifetime to hear from others: “You are enough. You are right. Exactly—Now—As you are.” When we validate ourselves, a quiet peace returns. We stop comparing. We stop justifying. We stop regarding our lives as insufficient and begin to act from a completely different source of power: from inner connectedness. And from this connectedness, presence is born.
This presence is magnetic. It attracts what belongs to us—without struggle, without masks or overadaptation. Validation is the inner permission to exist as a woman and as a mother. Or as a daughter and as a friend. But above all: as I.
In this stance, money loses its power to define us—and becomes a tool instead of a measure. In this stance, career loses its function of proving our value—and becomes a form of expressing our gifts. In this stance, exhaustion loses its endlessness—and becomes a signal for a new equilibrium.
Validation does not mean leaning back and doing nothing; rather, it means acting from a completely different place: not from fear, not from lack, not from the need for external approval—but from joy, from clarity, from the deep certainty: I already am. I do not need to become.
And it is precisely here that the true “wild&wonderful” begins: For a woman who validates herself no longer needs to conform to be loved. She can show herself—vulnerable and powerful at the same time. She can give—without overexerting. She can lead—without controlling. She can love—without losing herself.
In a world that often feels unmoored, where meaning is eroded by relentless efficiency, distraction, and the pressure to perform, we find ourselves in a profound meaning crisis. As John Vervaeke and other thinkers have shown, the loss of significance is not merely intellectual—it is experiential, embodied, and generational. Meaning is not found in abstract theories or external validation alone; it is awakened when we reconnect to the ancient songlines that run through our bodies, through the tissues and cells that carry ancestral memory, and through the genetic dreamlines that whisper of who we are and where we come from.
Reclaiming meaning requires remembering. Remembering the rituals, the gestures, the rhythms that once wove community, nature, and spirit together. Remembering that the fascial networks, the vagus nerve, the breath, the heartbeat—all hold the songs of the lineages that carried us. Remembering that each small gesture—the touch of a hand, the preparation of food, the quiet tending of a garden, the telling of a story—can become an offering to life, a reclamation of connection, a restoration of purpose.
Meaning is reawakened when we see that our lives are not separate from the currents that have flowed for millennia; that every step, every breath, every act of presence is part of an unbroken lineage of care, courage, and creation. To live fully, wildly, and wonderfully is to bring this remembering into the ordinary, to let the extraordinary pulse through the simple acts of everyday life. In this way, the meaning crisis is transformed: it becomes an invitation, a calling, and a living practice—a way to restore our place in the story of life itself.
If this resonates, I would love to invite you into conversation—through Parallax—around how story, ritual, and remembering can transform meaning when the world feels adrift. You’re warmly welcome to write me at cordula.frei@parallax.eu
This is where our journey as media creators, as Parallax, truly begins: in the recognition that the stories we tell are not just for us, but for the collective. They are for the people who listen, read, and engage with them, who allow them to shape their own understanding of the world.
And so, we call upon all those who are seeking meaning, seeking depth, seeking something beyond the constant din of distraction, to join us in this new chapter of storytelling. It is not about creating content that simply fills space, it is about creating media that opens doors to understanding, that builds connection in a time when isolation seems so prevalent, and that invites people to see themselves and the world in new, transformative ways.
The call to new storytelling is not just a call to action — it’s a call to reflection, to transformation, and to connection.
If you wish to move with me into these themes—of healing, ancestral memory, ritual, narrative—join me at Parallax: through my courses, lectures, workshops. I welcome correspondence and reflection: cordula.frei@parallax.eu
You can also explore my ongoing work at Parallax (courses such as “Deep Ecology – Rewilding the Soul”, “Voice Dialogue & Inner Expansion”, the writing group & literary salon) which anchor story and ritual in shared practice.