Wild Fires and Silent Witness: Shiva’s Dance with the Woman of Today
by Cordula Frei
Wild Fires and Silent Witness: Shiva’s Dance with the Woman of Today
When a woman develops the ability to face all her mood swings, her intuitive, inexplicable perceptions, her spontaneous ideas- then she lives in fullness as a woman. Men may call her illogical, radical, or chaotic. Yet they will notice that this woman is capable of extraordinary achievement. Such a woman, who lives her life like a dance of the weather and feels the calm sky within her, is an exceptional, extraordinary woman.
But what happens, when these storms and waves one day, hold her so tightly that she looks helpless and wounded at her life and no longer dares to take anything in her hand because she already knows: it will slip away with the next wave?
What if fear has led a woman to break with herself in a masculine calculating way in order to remain in a defined form?
Do you know such women?
And do you know, have you experienced how high her price is, that she paid for losing her enliving intuitive power? If she breaks, the star no longer shine, but everything lies broken at your feet : the employer, the family business, the demands of the children, or the needs of her husband.
No matter, how many secrets of the woman is revealed, the woman will always remain the great unknown.
Let us therefore distinguish, that a man who comes to this woman compassionately, self-reflectively, and awake is not the one who does (almost) the same, yet with a significant difference: because he is unconsciously driven by his (unresolved) "inner woman." His inner woman is the voice of his mother, his grandmother, and the inner voice of his actual or former wife.
This voice has become so independent that it tries to persuade him and what he should do to serve this woman even more. But it s not about doing, it s about Being.
He does not serve the awakened woman, nor the goddess who truly stands before him and through whom love speaks that needs: nothing. But claims everything: his presence.
He serves an unconscious chorus of personal and collective female voices. They demand that he serve them even more, that he pay them even more reverence. And the woman will demand it, as you rightly recognize.
But what does she really demand when she insists, no matter what words she chooses, no matter in what mood she expresses it, that you, man, be present.
Presence from your greatest possible of inner integrity and freedom. Stop running away. Stop denying your responsibility. Stop deleting. Stop postponing. Stop creating a agenda of false promises. And most of all, stop the war game of pretending that what you don t manage to do you will “only” do, if the false female self pressures you to do, with lists, and complaints and to do lists. Don t reduce Shakti to be the servant of your dismisses or she will revenge it by dismissing, you.
Why is this staying, this "showing up," communicating, being honest, so infinitely important to the woman?
And how would it be the other way around — if the woman were not (only) the one who demands this, but if the man came home and asked her: Why you, woman?
What is so special about you that I will sacrifice my life, my heart, and my autonomous integrity to serve you?
I want to repeat this question simply: What is so special about you, woman, that I will sacrifice my life, my heart, and my autonomous integrity to serve you? If I want to feel life, I can sit under a tree. I can climb a mountain or sit with my dog in the evening sun and eat bread and drink beer. To feel the life that you are, woman, I do not need you. And i know how to do my washing clothes and laundry and occasionally swipe and clean the house. What is it about you, woman, that you can — of all people — give me?
Men, ask your women, your mothers, the Earth herself this question before you accept the service. Clarify this question. Ask her lovingly but directly. Do not allow women to exploit and drain you (any longer) by always making new demands.
Do not allow us women in our chaotic and emotionally charged creative urge to constantly create new things without you, man, having given your blessing.
Do not allow us, man, to hit you with our devastating power in your helplessness in the wrong place.
Where, man, do you find the sources where you will develop the strength to withstand the woman's call to life and love? How do you stand up to her when she wants to love tirelessly and endlessly in the act of love? And when her flood of words overwhelms you? Her ideas, perceptions, mood swings: How do you maintain your dignity and your authority in love without the female fullness overwhelming you? Can you oppose this female stream without hurting the woman you love? Without putting her down.
I want to tell you what us women seek, we do not want a man who makes us happy. We do not want a man who reads the words from our lips. And eventually, we no longer want the goddess who has been conquered and tamed by you. Eventually, we simply want to feel Sivas silence and his innate emptiness. Plain and simple.
When we go to sleep at night, we may ask, "Do you also have so many thoughts in your head?" He turns , and says, "No, my love. There is nothing in me. Nothing at all." And he sleeps.
One evening, he took her and the children to the beach, dug a hollow for them in the black, still hot sand, and shared bread, cheese, and some water. In the tight sleeping bag, the bed was shared and she stretched into the crunching rolls of sand grains moved by the stormy surf.
She became one with the stars above. She breathed the extinct firepower of the volcanoes surrounding . She heard the breath of the man beside and knew that at the slightest danger, he would immediately act alertly.
At dawn, when the first fishermen pushed their boats into the surf, she knew that this man could be a key. He would stand for his home, his origin, and his being in nothingness. He would stand for it in a way that would both destroy and awaken her.
Do you know, woman, how infinitely beautiful it is when you, with your feminine fullness, meet this masculine calm and it does not reject you, but also does not react; instead, in stoic, total presence, becomes a embrace you can fall into? In that moment, the woman finally becomes still...
... she becomes still. Yes, very still... and yes: at that moment and perhaps in the next and the next moment. Until she jumps up again. Perhaps with a mischievous laugh. From zero to one hundred: "Come, let's go eat japanese tonite."
The Dance of Shiva and Shakti remains one of the most compelling metaphors for the dynamic interplay between creation and destruction, chaos and order, masculine and feminine forces. Shiva, the cosmic dancer, embodies both annihilation and the rhythmic pulse of existence, while Shakti represents the creative energy, the life force that animates and transforms. Even in our postmodern age, steeped in technology and fragmentation, the archaic dance of Shiva and Shakti calls to us. It reminds us that beneath the surface of our rational, digital lives lies a wild, primordial force that yearns to be acknowledged, embraced, and integrated.
The ancient stories of Shiva and Shakti, encoded in myth and ritual, transcend time because they speak to fundamental human experiences: the tension between freedom and surrender, the chaos within order, the feminine wildness meeting the masculine stillness. Shiva’s dance, the Tandava, is not merely an ancient myth but a living invocation—an invitation to confront our own inner destruction and renewal. What is Shiva calling us to today? Perhaps it is a call to embrace impermanence, to dance with the storms within ourselves, to find presence amidst chaos.
And how does the goddess reply in a contemporary life that demands productivity, logic, and control? Shakti is the river of intuition, emotion, and creative impulse that refuses to be tamed. She reminds the modern woman (and man) to honor cycles, to trust the unseen, and to resist the urge to reduce life to formulas. In a world craving certainty, Shakti’s wild dance invites us back into mystery. She does not need to know how Datev works for your tax declaration and she also doesn t care if the neighbours wonder why she comes home 5 am regulary parcing her car down the road. She dances. She howls. She lives the unaceptable. She howls with the wolves. She runs with the moon and leaves her bed at 4 am if she must. Just to smell, sniff and breath the air of a certain starlight and to embody the sound of the wild,
So, are Shiva and Shakti still needed today?
The answer pulses in the rhythm of life itself—yes. Their dance offers a radical template for living: embracing complexity without denial, holding chaos and stillness simultaneously, and recognizing the sacred feminine and masculine as interdependent, not opposed. As role models and invocations, Shiva and Shakti teach us to embody presence, courage, and fierce compassion.
In this age of fragmentation and loss, the dance continues—not only in distant temples or ancient texts but within the hearts of those willing to engage with their own wildness and silence. The call of Shiva is the call to wakefulness, to surrender, and to fierce authenticity. The reply of Shakti is the unyielding power of creation, love, and transformative energy. Together, they invite us to dance the wild fires and become the silent witnesses of our own unfolding story.
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About the author: CORDULA FREI
is a distinguished author, editor, and curator with a profound dedication to integrative practices, deep ecology, and transformative narratives. As head of media for Integral Perspectives magazine, she has been instrumental in shaping content that explores holistic viewpoints. She co-created Achronon magazine, a platform challenging conventional timelines and narratives, and served as editor for Info 3 magazine, bridging spirituality, culture, and contemporary issues. At Germany’s first regenerative society, Hofgut Leo in Gresgen, she curated cultural initiatives and oversees organizational aspects, promoting sustainable and regenerative practices.
Her longstanding collaboration with Tom Amarque is rooted in a vibrant friendship and a shared passion for critical thinking, questioning societal mainstreams, and shaping transformative narratives. As the author of Soulskin, she explores the initiation journey of the feminine psyche as a deep psychological pilgrimage into personal transformation.
Her life is deeply connected to deep ecology, living among horses and dogs, traveling through vast wilderness to engage in regenerative dialogue with nature. Through her work, Cordula Frei holds the Podcast Serie: “Roots of Enlivenment“ at Parallax Media with a invitation to inspire and lead in the realms of integrative thought, ecological awareness, and cultural transformation.
Write her at cordula@parallax-media.eu